Humans have a need for social company, we can survive without it, but with it, we thrive and live longer. We need to share our life with other people. To see and be seen. Relationships change over time, they take time and attention.

Most people don’t know what they need from great relationships, and what they need to bring to the table.  I want to have friends that are always there for me, that enrich my life and can be counted on, through thick and thin.

Social Life Premise

Your Premise refers to the foundational beliefs you hold about this category. What do you believe? What deeply held beliefs are shaping your life? Are your beliefs empowering? Do they move you at a deep level or are they holding you back? What is your Premise for this area of your life, or what would you like it to be?

1) My family (mom, dad, sister, spouse, and children) are my priority when it comes to relationships. If they truly need me, I am there for them. My extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins) deserves attention and respect, I give to them as I give to members of my community. My tribe is my non-blood related family, my true friends, lovers and peers, the people I do great things with. They are part of my inner circle and get a special place in my life. Casual friends, acquaintances, and clients are all part of my community, they deserve respect, but I have no commitment to them aside from what we agree to. There is also the people I consider fans, they are people that know me, but I don’t know them. I treat these people with respect and ensure that my boundaries are respected.

2) My family and tribe deserve quality time. I nurture these relationships, spend time on them, invest in them and make exceptions for them. These people get the best of me. My extended family and community might get the best of me at times, but I feel more comfortable taking space from them.

3) All good relationships are challenging at times. Those in my inner circle deserve honesty, transparency, time, help, time to process and second chances. It takes a huge fuck up to get kicked from this circle, and a huge amount of achievement to get in. Many people may want to be included in this circle, but I choose every single one meticulously. At the same time, I expect the same from these people, honesty, transparency, time, help, time to process and second chances.

4) I choose everyone I relate with carefully, and how much I related with them. I test people to check if they are worthy of my time. I do not condemn anyone, or criticize them. I simply choose who I want to engage with.

5) The people I choose are extraordinary, in the way they related to me and in their own life. They have high expectations for me and for themselves. They inspire me, support me, and show me the best parts of myself. They are happy and healthy. They are uplifting, respectful, mindful, and want the best for me. These are people I am in a relationship with regularly. Even when I do not get to see them in person, we make an effort to interact in other ways.

Social Life Vision

Your Vision refers to the ideal state you would like to achieve in this important category. Ask yourself: How do you want this area of your life to feel? What do you want it to look like? What do you want to be doing on a consistent basis? Clearly describe your ideal Vision.

1) I connect with the right people in the right way. I do not underestimate the power of great relationships. I mix my social life with other categories and try to include my relationships in these categories. I often go over these relationships and decide which need to be fixed and which needs to be tossed out the board. I check on how much value people bring to my life and how much I want to bring there and keep these balanced.

2) My relationships with my family and tribe are outstanding. These are solid, trustworthy relationships and I am proud of every-single-one of them. Whenever there is tension, I notice and clean it up. I am in charge of the quality of these relationships. I take control of how I relate to them. I ask for what I want and need. I speak up and invite others to speak up. In my inner circle, relationships are always being taken care of, when something comes up, I take charge. For other relationships in my community, I take a more passive approach, I check to see if they come to me if they care, and how much about being in harmony with me. All who may wrong me are forgiven, but they may not get as much as they once did.

3) My relationships move me forward and help me grow. I do not waste time or energy in stagnant, toxic, abusive, disrespectful, annoying, or useless relationships. I have no average or mediocre relationships. People in my tribe know me deeper than anyone else. We go deep and share to make our relationships meaningful, we support each other. I do not need lots of friends, I need excellent friends. I do not let low-quality people pull me down. I do not engage in relationships that drain my energy and stress me out.

4) I pick consciously and wisely, I am selective and invest in the right people. I am an excellent friend myself, helpful and loyal. I am in charge of giving what I want to get in return. I treat others the way I want to be treated, without letting others take advantage of me.

5) Above all, we enjoy each other’s company and want to be in each other’s lives, during the good and the bad times. Happiness is love.

6) My fans love me for being authentic, they support my projects and want to see more of me. They are respectful, inspiring, grateful, loving and kind.

Social Life Purpose

Your Purpose refers to the compelling reasons behind what you want in this category. What energizes you? What empowers you to take action? What motivates you to achieve your Vision? Describe WHY you want to make the most out of this area of your life?

1) I need social support to flourish. I need quality personal relationships for health and financial success. I am fed by warm personal relationships. I need stellar friends that encourage me, support me, care about me, inspire me and contribute to my growth.

2) Quality relationships are fun, we laugh together, they are healing. They are about sharing ourselves and being shared with. Friends with good qualities uplift my life. By contributing to my tribe and community, I become fulfilled and uplifted. My fans are the fire and fuel that drives many of my projects.

Parenting Strategy

Your Strategy refers to the specific actions that will get you from where you are now to where you want to be. How will you bring your vision into reality? Ask yourself what kind of positive habits, attitudes and action steps you can implement. What’s the RECIPE for the Vision you want to create?

1) I have a filter to know between the people that belong in my life and those that don’t. I notice what relationships drain me and which ones uplift me.

2) My social values are the things I demand from my relationships that I can not live without. These are the following: Trust, Authenticity, Support, Intimacy, Deep Connection, Touch, Play, Laughter, Harmony, Loyalty.

3) The things I do not tolerate from anyone are Dishonesty, Negativity (especially pushing me down), Laziness, Carelessness, Irresponsibility. Unhealthiness,

4) I am getting rid of the people that do not support or encourage my dreams, that don’t inspire me, believe in me, encourage me, support me. Get rid of abusive, negative, draining relationships. Give yourself permission to let them go. If no growth is happening, needs not met, interactions unpleasurable, let go of it. Get on with people that expand your life. No need for ritual or bid comment, just less available, fade away. No assholes allowed in my life. Do not allow anyone to treat me poorly. People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. It is my choice who I want to hang out with.

5) Any issues on my relationships require my utmost attention. Processing works.

6) I go out and seek outstanding people who will uplift me in my journey. I go where those people go, where they work, where they live, where they play. In person and online.

7) We travel with our friend group. We form bonds and learn together. We study together, work together.

8) I look for mentors, amazing experts in the things I want in my life, in business, and in life. I talk to leaders of my profession, I reach out to the highly successful people I admire. They want to share their wisdom with me. Successful people like to share. Interview them.

9) I have my own virtual network, surrounding myself with anyone I choose, their wisdom and guidance.  I do this by taking advantage of online videos. Reading and listening to the authors that I feel an affinity towards. I absorb their wisdom.

Focusing on New Empowering Beliefs

At the end of the homework we were asked to answer the following question:

What limiting BELIEFS did you discover? What are your new empowering beliefs?

Focusing on having excellent relationships is easier than I ever thought. I just need to be in integrity with myself, stay open and authentic, go out there and let myself be seen, treat people respectfully and love who deserves my love.

• Bruno Treves